Wow, what a MONSTER week, it really was a nasty one. I needed a giggle, so I found my favorite dog vs cats story and chortled. Maybe you need a giggle too?
Doggie Diary Entry:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Cat Diary Entry:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Idiots!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .
Hope you laughed. By the way, if you are a Glee fan, youtube "Glee cast Defying Gravity". LOVE IT.
Dallas Blooms at the Arboretum
8 months ago
3 comments:
I did need a giggle and this was perfect! Thanks for making my day. I hope you have a better week.
oh my gosh annie. that is FUNNY:)
by the way...uncle fester and the baby never made it on to the last post!! i'm dying to see those pictures:)
Oh, I miss you. I love this entry. It has been a while since I read that but I love it. Still makes me laugh. Sorry you had a tough week. Hope this one is starting better. I LOVE GLEE, can't wait for it to be back on this week, I will definitly check out the youtube. Thanks for sharing.
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